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The Young Mom's Guide to Saving Family History

12/4/2018

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The Young Mom's Guide To Saving Family History // GrowingLittleLeaves.com
Recently, I've been reflecting a lot on my memories of my kids' baby and toddler days. Becoming a mom is actually what turned me into a serious genealogist. Discovering so many neat things about our ancestors prompted me to start this blog, because I wanted my kids to begin to know these individuals, as well. I wanted to write a blog post giving moms of very young children small ideas about how they can begin preserving their family's history, even amidst all the chaos and fatigue that new motherhood can bring. (The 'Young Mom' title doesn't necessarily refer to our ages as moms, but as mothers of young children.)

Document Your Family's Journey (but not too much)
We are fortunate to live in a time when it is incredibly easy to document our lives. We can use our smartphones for photos, videos, audio recordings, and even speech-to-text dictation of our memories.

However, how much is too much? Do your descendants really need thousands of photos and videos of your family? Though it hasn't been talked about much yet within the genealogical community, I think in the very near future, there will be discussions surrounding this kind of family history overload that might cause our descendants more strife than joy. Recently, I went through my kids' baby and toddler digital photo files, and ended up deleting a fair number of them. Many were repeats of the same event or scene and a lot were just not great quality photos. I want my kids and their descendants to be happy to have quality photos that tell our family story,  but not so overwhelmed at the quantity of files (or memory those files take up) that they simply ignore them because they don't think they have the time.

Safeguard Everything
I can't tell you how many moms I've known who have had at least one panic attack when the phone or hard drive on which their family photos were stored just up and dies. The recommended rule is to have files that you care about in at least three separate places, in at least two different formats, with one backup location off-site. Update your backups at least once a month; many people do it on the first of each month, but whenever you choose to do it, set up a reminder in your calendar so that you don't forget. (Many off-site backup services, like Backblaze, will do your hard drive backup automatically, so you don't even have to think about it.) I know it's hard when your family is young and money is tight, but that $5 a month I spend on a back-up service is SO worth it, just for my peace of mind, knowing my family's memories are safe.

I also recommend that you make an effort to regularly get your photos and videos off of your phone and/or tablet and into a more permanent and safe digital location. (Again, set a monthly or bi-monthly reminder.) Making physical photo books is great, and fun for even the youngest family members to enjoy, but don't let that be your only "insurance" location. There are some really great apps these days, like Chatbooks, Resnap, and Groovebook, that will easily generate and order photo books for you from the photos and social media apps on your phone.

Tell Your Own Story
It's hard to worry about documenting your own experiences and emotions when you're running on coffee day after day just trying to keep the little ones clean, rested, and fed. But I'm here to tell you how important it is to do so, because so many of the experiences and feelings of early motherhood, which are SO precious and SO personal, are fleeting moments, and you may not remember all the details down the road. And, again, there are some wonderful, easy-to-use, daily journaling apps that make it so easy these days to document your daily mom-kid adventures.

Cultivate Strong Relationships With Older Family Members 
The older people in our families are so important to our family histories that we need to cultivate strong intergenerational relationships with them, and we need to model behavior to our young ones that teaches them to cherish the older ones' experiences and memories. 

Part of building these intergenerational relationships is making the effort to BE at extended family gatherings, which can be SO hard when you have very young children AND live away from everyone else. Driving in the car for hours on end with babies and toddlers is awful. My husband and I did it so many times through the years, but, looking back, it was SO worth it. During my son's first Christmas, he was only about a month old, didn't sleep well, and didn't eat well, which meant I was terribly tired all the time. We could have easily told family members we weren't making the long drive home for Christmas, and they would have understood. But we went anyway, and I'm so glad we did because I just love the photos of my son's first Christmas with my extended family members. Here he is meeting his great-great-aunt, who was a bit of a surrogate grandmother to me and my cousins, since her sister passed away at a fairly young age. I look at this photo now, and my great-aunt has since passed away, but here is this moment in time when my descendant met a woman whose parents bravely left their homeland of Poland to start a new life in America. So, when you go to family gatherings with your young children, take photos, even if the older people don't want you to, because someday you will cherish those moments in your children's lives and in your family's history. 

Picture
As careers end and children grow up, many of our older family members can get lonely and think that the younger and busier people in their lives have forgotten about them. There are small things we can do to let them know we are thinking of them, even if we live far away. I love sending greeting cards to people. It's super-easy to program your phone calendar to remind you of family birthdays and anniversaries, or just sending a 'Thinking of You' card at any time of the year is a great idea, too. Ever since they were toddlers, I have always asked my kids to draw a little picture or scribble their names in the cards we send, and I usually include photos, too. I still have an email from my husband's now-deceased 90-year-old grandmother, in which she thanked me for an Easter card we sent her with my son's first communion photo. Those photos meant so much to her; she saved each one she received from her family members and taped them to her wall at her assisted-living center.

Probably the most important thing we can do to foster intergenerational relationships is to simply LISTEN to our elder family members, and not only when they are talking about family stories. Listen to them complain about sports teams or taxes or the government; sometimes, people just need their thoughts to be heard. You'll find that the more you listen to people, the more comfortable they will become with you as a conversation partner and the more willing they will be share old family stories and memories with you. Modeling good listening behavior is also really great for helping young children learning the basics of polite and rational conversation, which is a skill they will use the rest of their lives.

​Take Charge of Elder Generations' 'Collections'
You might have parents and grandparents who are super-duper family history curators, and if that's the case, this point may not apply to you as much, because there are already people in your family who are doing their best to preserve family ephemera for future generations.

BUT, you might have family members who just have boxes of what they deem as 'old stuff' in their attic or crawl space - maybe some old photo albums, china sets, military memorabilia, family legal papers, etc. They may have intentions of 'someday' going through that stuff, or they may just be leaving it for younger generations to deal with when they pass away. Ask them NOW if you can go through it, organize it, and maybe even re-store it in better & safer archival containers. Also, doing so now, before the older generations pass on, allows you to ask your older family members who things belonged to, where they were made or came from, and who are in the photos, all information that is super-important to preserving family history.

Digitizing photos and other family documents is an easy way for a busy mom to contribute to saving family history. Scanning photos is simple, doesn't require a ton of mental focus, and can be done gradually in small pockets of time. So, if you get discouraged that you don't have the time or energy to actively researching your family history, think about just getting some photos scanned and eventually that will all add up to a great accomplishment for your family history records. 

Introduce Your Babies & Toddlers To Their Ancestors
It's never too early to start talking with your small children about their family history. Talking to babies right from birth is SO important to their brain development. I always struggled with this when my kids were babies. I would read to them a lot, but the 'baby talk' never came naturally to me. Now, I realize I should have just told stories about my memories of growing up and people I knew from the past, like my grandparents. Turns out that talking about anything is good for baby. And, of course, continue telling those stories to toddlers, preschoolers, and school-aged children. As a child gets older, make the stories longer and more detailed. Pretty soon, the kids will be telling the stories on their own to younger siblings or cousins.

Visiting cemeteries with young children is a great way to 'introduce' them to their ancestors. It's great exercise and it teaches children not to be afraid of cemeteries, an unfortunate and misguided viewpoint they might pick up from books and/or movies. While at the cemetery, model good and safe cemetery etiquette and even bring a little rag along so your toddler can help you 'clean' off your relatives' graves. Make going to the cemetery a regular occurrence for your children.

Let the little ones touch and hold items that have been passed down through your family. Young children are such tactile learners; if they can associate an object with a story and an ancestor's name and photo, they will connect with that story SO much better than if you just tell the story alone.

Of course, I have many more ideas for helping even the youngest kids connect with their family history and they can all be found on the ACTIVITIES page. I hope that mothers of young children have found at least some of these tips helpful, and I hope they can now see that you don't need to devote hours of time to pure genealogy research in order to have a large impact on the preservation of your family's history. You are living your future family members' history RIGHT NOW and you can make large strides in small ways to keeping your family history alive.

©2018 Emily Kowalski Schroeder


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Raising Family History Curators

4/3/2017

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Raising Family History Curators // GrowingLittleLeaves.com
For the past three years, I've been sharing my ideas for how to teach young people about their ancestors in engaging and meaningful ways. Ideally, though, I want my children to do more than just know about their family history. I want them to use it, share it, continue to collect it, and preserve it for future generations beyond their lifetimes. I want them to become not just students of our family's history, but curators of it as well.

I love the word curator to describe my role as a family historian. The word 'curator' has roots in the Latin word, 'curare,' which means "to take care of." 


A museum or archive curator does all of the following on a regular basis:


Acquire
Interpret
Share
Preserve


These are my comprehensive goals as a family historian, and I'd like my children to continue these tasks as they grow into adulthood. What are some ways in which we can encourage kids to adopt this type of family history philosophy?

Acquire
Every day is an opportunity to record and save family history. When I was a pre-teen, I was somewhat of a budding photographer, and I took tons of everyday photos. My mom let me use the family camera, and I took many, many photos of my parents, my siblings, and our home - photos that wouldn't have been taken if it weren't for me. You can see some of those photos at this blog post: When 'Bad' Photos Are Good. Give a child a camera and see what they capture.

Encourage children to speak with family members about their lives and memories, and show them how to record interviews using simple mobile phone apps. Perhaps, a
round the dinner table, ask each child to think of one question to ask a grown-up about their life as a young person. Have a family member record the date, questions, and memories in a simple blank-page journal. Below are several Growing Little Leaves blog posts that encourage children to capture memories and other unique aspects of their family members:

Childhood Christmas Memories Interview

Roll A Memory Game
Sibling Interview
Fingerprint and Signature Trees

Interpret
What do all these documents, photos, and heirlooms tell us about our ancestors? Interpreting is probably MY favorite part of family history research, and I'm willing to bet there are plenty of kids out there who are also intrigued at uncovering the mysteries hidden within all of the 'stuff.' 

Encourage kids to look carefully at old photos. What were people wearing or doing? What can we learn about the times (and the people) from what is in the photo? Sit down with a bowl of popcorn (or other favorite snack) and go through a census schedule with your child. When was this information recorded? What do the different columns mean and how can we use the information in those columns to piece together a snapshot of our ancestor's life at this time? Interpreting family history documents very often involves learning at least a little about regional, national, and world history, so there is definitely educational value (beyond family history) in teaching kids how to interpret documents. It's also great for developing critical thinking skills.

Examine heirlooms with your child. Talk about who they belonged to and what they were used for. Does the heirloom offer any clues as to how that ancestor lived, what they enjoyed doing, or what they did for a living? This Heirloom Roleplay Activity can be used to help kids think more deeply about a family heirloom.


Share
​Once you tell your child a little bit about your family's history, do you encourage him or her to share it with others? Sharing our ancestors' stories is an incredibly important part of being a family history curator, and this includes sharing family stories with both family members and non-family. The easiest way in which to encourage kids to share a family story is to simply ask them to tell you one. Young children who love to talk especially enjoy this method.  Older children and teens may instead enjoy writing down a family story or creating videos and/or websites for telling and sharing a story.  

Got a family reunion in the plans? How great would it be to have the children in the family create ancestor posterboards or videos or drawings or even plays in which they act out a particular ancestor's life? In the sharing process, kids can really showcase their individual interests, talents, and creativity, which is why this is such an important aspect of a child's family history journey.
​

Preserve
Teaching kids about proper storage and organization of family history ephemera is important, and we should encourage children to help us in the process of preserving family heirlooms, photos, journals, interviews, and documents. Who knows - you might find that one of your children has a better knack for organization than you do!

A couple of years ago, I wrote this blog post about how easy it is for even the youngest children to help  digitize family photos. Got a bunch of photos with dates written on the back? Kids can help organize them chronologically and place them in archival boxes.

Raising Family History Curators // GrowingLittleLeaves.com
My almost-4yo daughter helping me digitize family photos.
Older children and teens can help with the transcription of family journals, letters, and even audio interviews. Artistic children and teens might be interested in helping you create family history scrapbooks (which falls into the Share category, as well).

Talk with kids about why it is important to digitize paper items and backup digital files in several places. Encourage adolescents to digitize items that are important to telling their life stories - award certificates, report cards, sacramental records, artwork, sentimental photos, etc. It's never too early for kids to start documenting their own lives for their descendants.

Take kids to the cemetery and show them simple ways in which to care for gravestones. Let them help you clear away weeds or overgrown grass and show them how to use water to clear away grime and dirt from the stone. Tell them that it is important to report any damaged or fallen gravestones to the cemetery owners or managers.
​

What other ideas do you have to help kids embrace the role of family history curator? Please share in a comment below!

©2017 Emily Kowalski Schroeder
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Sharing Family History With Kids: Because Life Isn't Fair

3/21/2017

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Sharing Family History With Kids: Because Life Isn't Fair // GrowingLittleLeaves.com
One day, in July 2013, I was researching at the Cuyahoga County Archives in Cleveland, Ohio. All of my great-grandparents had been immigrants, and they had all settled in Cleveland, so this was a great place for researching my family. I had had some luck finding naturalization papers online for all of my great-grandparents, with the exception of one: George Bellan, who was born Juraj Beljan in Croatia (then Austria-Hungary) in the 1870s. While at the archives, the research aid brought out their volumes of Cuyahoga County naturalization records, and, sure enough, she found my great-grandfather. But what I read on his Declaration of Intention affected me a lot more than I ever thought anything on those forms could. 

Under 'visible distinctive marks' George indicated 'lame in right leg.' My grandfather (George's son) had never talked much about his dad, and my uncle and mom were both very young children when their grandfather had passed away, so not much was known about him in family storytelling. But now we knew that, at age 41, he had trouble walking. I don't know if this was a temporary or permanent condition for him, but that didn't matter to me as I was looking at this document.

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I was born with a chronic vascular disease that affects me through my left pelvic area all the way down my entire left leg and foot. It's a degenerative disease with no cure, and I have slowly, but steadily, lost some mobility due to its progression. Despite wearing a very, very strong compression stocking, my leg and foot visibly swell up, and I usually walk with an uneven gait, although some days it is more noticeable than others. It's a pretty rare condition and, before the advent of the Internet, I was the only person I knew that had it. It has always been isolating for me, and I've always felt like nobody really understood how it affected me, both physically and psychologically.

Now, I had found an ancestor who lived with with a similar physical limitation, and discovering this actually made me emotional. This man raised eight children. From 1900 through 1930, he is listed as a 'laborer' and 'cement finisher' on census records and city directories - very physical jobs - and we all know there was no such thing as an 8-hour work day back then for working-class immigrants. And he did all this on a bum leg and no ibuprofen. After processing all this, I remember thinking, 'I wish I had known about his life and his condition when I was younger.' If he could do it, so could I.

Not long after that discovery of mine, I started Growing Little Leaves. As a parent, you hope and pray that your child will not have to face too much adversity in his or her life, but you also know that it is unavoidable. Life's not fair. But just knowing that someone else has gone through the same struggles as you have - especially when that person is a family member - gives you both a comfort and a power that is hard to explain.

Kids need to know that their struggles aren't unique. Listen, I understand why kids might not want to hear mom and dad drone on about how they have gotten through life (so far). But maybe a story of how great-grandpa did it will make a connection with them in a way that will help them feel like they are not alone, and that they have the genes within them (literally) to conquer life's adversities.


To read more about how family stories can benefit children in times of adversity, please read the article and research paper linked below: 

The Stories That Bind Us   The New York Times   15 Mar 2013
Family Narrative Interactive and Children's Sense of Self (PDF)  

Family Process  Vol. 45, No. 1  2006

This post is part of the Why Share Family History With Children Blog Link Up administered by Nicole Dyer at FamilyLocket.com. Click the image below to read posts by other contributors!
Why Share Family History With Children Blog Link Up
Image Copyright Nicole Dyer, FamilyLocket.com
©2017 Emily Kowalski Schroeder
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Digitization Project? Get Kids Involved!

1/14/2017

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How To Work With Local Youth Groups To Accomplish Digitization // GrowingLittleLeaves.com
A few years back, I volunteered with a local county digitization initiative and helped prepare county probate documents for scanning. We removed the documents from envelopes, unfolded and smoothed them flat, and removed any metal staples, pins, or thread (!) holding papers together. The experience was a lot more interesting and educational than I thought it would be! Some of these packets had not been opened in over a hundred years, and it was really beneficial to me as a family historian to see how these probate files were arranged and what types of documents were included, even though they were not at all connected to my own family.

How To Work With Local Youth Groups To Accomplish Digitization // GrowingLittleLeaves.com
How To Work With Local Youth Groups To Accomplish Digitization // GrowingLittleLeaves.com
As I thought back over that experience, I realized that kids, from upper elementary ages through teens, very easily could do this, too!  And, like me, they could learn a lot about the sources they are helping to digitize.

What Kids Can Learn From Digitization Projects:
*Kids learn about the documents and record sets they are digitizing through hands-on observation.

*Kids will understand that they are doing a service to the community and to family historians searching for information about their ancestors.

*Kids learn the value of using digitization to protect documents (and the information contained within them) from natural decomposition, fire, and water damage.

Would your local genealogical or historical society like to initiate digitization projects, but doesn't feel like it has the 'manpower' necessary to accomplish them? Would your group like to attract more young faces to its ranks and become more visible in your community? If the answer is yes, consider designing and implementing a digitization project in partnership with a local youth organization or school group.


Some school districts, scouting groups, and churches require or at least encourage kids to complete service hours,
and a project like this would be perfect for a teen who maybe doesn't want to volunteer in the local food pantry or church nursery. Perhaps even work WITH the churches and schools in your area to digitize some of their historical holdings that would surely be of use to family historians in your area. Our local high school has a history club and this type of project would be a perfect activity for them!

Don't think you have the technology to accomplish a digitization project? Check with your local library; many public libraries have both standard and oversized scanners, as well as laptops, available for patrons to use and sometimes even checkout. And library meeting rooms are great areas in which to meet and do the actual work of organizing and digitizing. (Just be sure to reserve those rooms far ahead of time so they are available.)

Not sure about how to make the digitized records accessible to your members and/or the community? Guess what - kids can help with that, too! For many teens, creating and editing webpages comes as second nature, and there are many easy-to-build-and-edit website services that would be a breeze for your society to maintain. The holding organization (library, courthouse, archive) may also help get the digitized database and images online.


Tips For Creating A Digitization Project in Cooperation With A Youth Organization:
*Decide what will be digitized and get permission to digitize from the holding organization, library or archive. 

*Identify and contact local youth groups you think might be interested in participating. Contact group leaders through phone or email and explain your vision.

*Plan an adult-only meeting with the leader(s) of interested youth groups sometime either at the end of the school year or during the summer before a school year begins. Determine what the leaders are looking for their kids to get out of the partnership. Decide on a project meeting location and meeting frequency (monthly, semi-monthly).

*Confirm that the meeting location and necessary technology are available and reserve those days and times as far ahead as possible. Recruit and sign up adult volunteer members from your group to assist and oversee during each meeting date.

*Attend one of the youth group's meetings and introduce your group and it's mission to the youth members. Clearly articulate the goals and purpose of the digitization project to the youth members. Explain to them what their jobs will be during the process.

*Consider an 'open house' style of project meetings in which participants can come and go within a designated time frame at their convenience. (It's not as chaotic as it sounds, once kids understand their tasks and the process behind the project, they will be able to jump right in at any time.)

​*Provide participants with (non-messy) light snacks or bite-sized candy. Participants will find their experience more enjoyable with food. 

*Be prepared to sign-off on service hours, if necessary. Create a sign-in sheet or perhaps a simple form that can be easily filled out at each meeting, so participants can return them to their group leaders. 
​

*Make it a yearly project, if possible. Youth organizations have a high-turnover rate; kids are continually 'graduating' out of groups and new members are always joining.

With good planning and an enthusiastic attitude, your society CAN successfully partner with local youth groups to accomplish great things towards preserving important pieces of your community's history.

©2017 Emily Kowalski Schroeder. All rights reserved.
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How Genealogy Helps Children Cope With Death

10/28/2016

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How Genealogy Helps Children Cope With Death - GrowingLittleLeaves.com
Last week, my husband and his extended family experienced the passing of the family's matriarch, my children's great-grandmother. It was not their first experience with the loss of a loved one, but they still asked many of the normal questions about why people die, what death means, and what happens to our bodies vs. our spirits - normal things you would expect a child to ask. 

However, I have been impressed at my kids' maturity in talking openly about death and to seemingly accept it as a part of life, even more than some adults seem to. Could this be because we talk about death (more than the average family) when I teach them about our ancestors and our family's history? Could it be because we take regular visits to cemeteries, and talk about how death is simply a part of life?

Although sorrow will always be a part of coping with the deaths of loved ones, children are not born with an inherent fear of death - it is something they learn from the people around them. Openly and regularly talking about the cycle of life and death makes the subject less taboo and less intimidating to children.

I love creating and using timelines with my children to teach family history, because they help them visualize the complete span of a person's life and the life events included within that span. Death is one of those events - an event that none of us completely understand from a spiritual perspective. But 
seeing death as a life event common to every person who has come before us is a powerful thing to be able to visualize, especially for a child. Understanding the universality of death and mourning doesn't necessarily make us less sad or angry when someone we love dies, but I do think it gives us a greater sense of acceptance and closure, especially if we believe in some version of a spiritual afterlife.

How Genealogy Helps Children Cope With Death - GrowingLittleLeaves.com
And as genealogists, we deal heavily in memories, especially memories of loved ones who are no longer with us in the flesh. I'm always sharing memories of my grandparents with my children, and I've now encouraged them to discuss memories of their deceased great-grandparents, as a way to keep them "alive" within us. 
​

Our family does not share Mexican ancestry, but one of my favorite holidays that has elements which I think every family should embrace is Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead). Drawing on both indigenous and Catholic traditions, Dia de lost Meurtos festivities remember, celebrate, and welcome back the spirits of dead loved ones. Family members build altars (ofrendas) to honor their ancestors and visit cemeteries to clean and decorate grave sites. Though individual traditions can vary from place to place, most Día de los Muertos festivities generally take on a happy, celebratory tone, instead of a mournful one.  

I am curious as to what other people think. Do you think that regularly discussing our ancestors with our children can help them process the mystery of death any better than children who don't know anything about their family history? 

As always, thanks for reading! If you are interested in learning more about Día de los Muertos, check out these links below!

Kid-Friendly Resources About Día de los Muertos:
Teacher Page - MexicanSugarSkull.com
​
Day of the Dead - Smithsonian Latino Center
Día de los Muertos - National Geographic Society 
Day of the Dead - National Geographic Kids
Day of the Dead History, Activities, and Resources - ArtIsFun.com

©2016 Emily Kowalski Schroeder

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Family Trees for EVERY Family

6/30/2016

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Family Trees for Every Family: Resources for helping children of
If you ask an average genealogist how he or she originally got into genealogy, a fair number of them would probably say that their interests were kindled by a school family tree project that they had to complete during their childhood or adolescent years. Perhaps the teacher handed out a chart to fill in or simply told students to draw a "tree" going back so many generations. It all sounds like a great way to get kids to learn about their ancestors, right?

However, have you ever thought about how projects like these affect children who are raised within so-called 'non-traditional' family groups? What about for children who are adopted, in the foster care system, or for whom their primary caretaker is a non-blood relative? According to recent research, less than half of all American children today live in a traditional, 'nuclear' family household. The genealogical community needs to be welcoming to people of all types of family backgrounds, and help everyone celebrate and embrace their family members' stories, even if they are not related through blood. (Perhaps a topic for a separate editorial, but I truly believe the Millennial and Post-Millennial generations of genealogical researchers will seek out more and more ancestral records for people who are not necessarily of a blood-relation to them, but with whom they still formed close, loving, and familial bonds.)

So, if a young person came to you for help in making a "family tree," would you be prepared to assist them if they told you they were adopted, or had two moms, or perhaps thought of their step-father as their true father? In order to help you do so, I have compiled a small list of books, articles, and other online resources that speak to embracing and depicting all-inclusive family trees. I have also included some of the articles and blog posts on this website's Resources page.

In Schools, Family Tree Bends With Times   The New York Times   7 Feb 1999


The Roots of the Problem   The Boston Globe   31 Mar 2009

​Who's on the Family Tree? Now It's Complicated   The New York Times   4 Jul 2011


Celebrating Adoption: "The "Family Tree" Project   Never A Dull Moment Blog   28 Nov 2011
​
Adoption Awareness in School Assignments: A Guide for Parents and Educators (PDF)
     Author: Christine Mitchell

Adoption Competent School Assignments Fact Sheet (PDF)   Minnesota Dept of Human Services

Tackling Tricky Assignments (PDF)   AdoptiveFamilies.com

The Family Tree Becomes a Vine   Guideposts.com

Family Trees for Non-Traditional Families   FamilyTreeTemplates.net

Family Tree   LGBTQ Parenting Network   Sherbourne Health Centre of Toronto, Canada

Lucy's Family Tree   Written by Karen Halvorsen Schreck, illustrated by Stephen Gassler III

Picture
Understanding the diversity of modern family units leads to empathy and support. I encourage you to take the time to read through these resources. They offer some creative and meaningful ideas in which to display family groups and relationships that would make any child proud and instill within them a sense of belonging and love. 

I also encourage you to check out some of the craft ideas pinned to the 'Genealogy Ideas from the Web' board on the Growing Little Leaves Pinterest page. Here you will find some great child-friendly ways to celebrate and visualize family and family history without having to fit your family into a stereotypical pedigree chart.
I've also created my own open-ended family chart that can be used to list any people a child feels are part of their family. Click on the image to be directed to a downloadable PDF.
My Family Hive FREE Printable from GrowingLittleLeaves.com
My Family Hive by GrowingLittleLeaves.com
©2016 Emily Kowalski Schroeder.
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Family Stories Through Times of Transition

6/16/2016

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Family Stories Through Times of Transition // GrowingLittleLeaves.com
"Families are the compass that guide us. They are the inspiration to reach great heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter."      -Brad Henry, former Governor of Oklahoma.

One of the hardest aspects of raising children is guiding them through periods of major transition in their lives. My daughter will be starting Kindergarten in about six weeks, and I have been thinking of ways to use stories from our family's history to instill within her a sense of courage and confidence as she enters this new chapter of her life.

Even as adults, going through periods of change in our lives - whether it be moving to a new place, getting a new job, or transitioning from one relationship to another - is tough! Children and adolescents do not necessarily have a frame of reference in which to view major life changes, so it can be even more difficult for them. We, as parents, can try to offer our advice and recount past experiences when it comes to new people and places, but, as all of my fellow parents know, it's not uncommon for kids to simply tune us out. They may, however, be more willing to listen to stories about their ancestors going through life challenges and transitions than about when mom and dad when through some of the same experiences.

Stories of immigration to a new country or migration to a new part of the country can instill within children a sense of adventure and a blatant disregard for fear of the unknown - a trait that helps us to take risks and is, at times, a wonderful thing to possess. These kinds of stories are also great for teaching the benefits of shedding possessions, starting fresh, and meeting new people.

Stories of learning new skills and perhaps starting a new business can promote a confidence in their family's work ethic and teach kids the long-term benefits of learning new things.

Stories of young people leaving home to start an apprenticeship or to otherwise work or learn in another place can teach kids about having courage in their abilities and developing self-reliance.

Stories of difficult and/or prolonged business or educational pursuits can teach children about perseverance and not giving up when things don't always go they way they should.

And while these sorts of stories very often contain an amount of hardship within, try to not focus on the hardship itself, but instead on the overcoming of the hardship and the character traits used by their ancestors to do so. Whenever the story permits, focus on how people surrounding your ancestor - other family members, friends, neighbors, clergy - may have helped him/her through their challenges, and assure your children that you will always be there to help, if needed.

Make your storytelling interactive and encourage comments and questions from the children. When possible, show them photos of the ancestors you are talking about, as well as evidence of their accomplishments, such as a photo of a business in which they worked, a diploma, a newspaper article about them, or a military medal. Be sure to tell your children that they are genetically made of the same building blocks as their ancestors, and that they have the traits and abilities within them to weather life's trials in the same manner as their family members did long ago. 

The stories of the past have the power to guide and encourage the generation of the future.

©2016 Emily Kowalski Schroeder

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Helping Kids Find Identity Through Their Ancestors

12/28/2015

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Helping Kids Find Identity Through Their Ancestors // GrowingLittleLeaves.com
How can our ancestors' stories be used to better the next generation? I think about this question a lot, and, in order to answer it, you need to know what this generation of kids today struggle with. I will refer to this generation (young children - teens) as Post-Millennials.

Kids today struggle with some of the same issues that young people have had to deal with for generations. Navigating through relationships with parents, siblings, teachers, and peers is still a major part of growing up. Getting through school and trying to choose out a career path are also concerns that have been around for a few generations. So, what is new about THIS generation's struggle? Ridiculously busy schedules? Yes. Busier parents? Yes. More peer pressure and bullying? Yes, although that too has been around for awhile. Fear of not succeeding? Bingo - and that's a big one. But deep down, these kids, some of whom have not even left diapers yet, are struggling and will struggle with identity.


How do we discover our own identity? - our likes and dislikes, the things that ignite our curiosities and passions, the places that fascinate us, the people with whom we connect? We explore, we try, we ask questions, we get lost, we fall, we make mistakes, we cry, we start over, and when we get through the struggles on our own, another piece of our identity puzzle falls into place. Unfortunately, the prevalence of helicopter parenting has eliminated some of the ways in which we find our identities as children and adolescents. Kids lives are also more scheduled than they've ever been, leaving less time for leisure and unscripted, free exploration. 

Post-Millennial kids are also the most labeled of any generation thus far. ADD/ADHD. Gluten-free. Speech-delayed. High-Ability. Gifted. Spirited. The list goes on and on. These labels are in addition to the "normal" labels adults give kids throughout childhood - those based on birth order (oldest, youngest) and ability (the musician, the athlete). Labels are not bad in and of themselves; in fact, many of today's labels and diagnoses make it possible for kids to get proper developmental therapies or keep them away from foods that could be dangerous to their health. But kids pick up on labels very quickly, and if they are learning that labels = who I am, then they will struggle with their identity later in life.

Our true, deeper identities have nothing to do with degrees, careers, appearance, medical diagnoses, physical abilities, hobbies, who we are related to, or where we live. It is more about figuring out how we see ourselves, what qualities and character traits we value and try to emulate, and how we choose to interact with what life hands us.

Can we, the genealogists, help this youngest generation find out just who they are AND become confident in who they are? Yes. We are the caretakers of dozens and dozens of unique family identities, each of which can help our young people discover themselves.

A few years ago, I attended a seminar by genealogist Thomas W. Jones. During his discussion, he spoke something along the lines of, "Your ancestor was unique in the history of the world. You are unique in the history of the world." He was speaking more in terms of time and place and documented histories, but those are powerful words on a whole other level as well. 

Though their DNA runs through our cells, our ancestors do not define our identity, but from their stories we can find inspiration, aspire to the good qualities they exhibited, and learn from their mistakes, struggles, and how they bounced back from what life threw at them. We should use family stories to teach our children and grandchildren about the character traits listed below, but not by lecturing them with, "This is how you should act." No, we should be saying, "This is who you can be. You have the power within you to add great and unique stories to our family history."

Leadership
Perseverance
Patience
Cooperation
Value of Education
Strong Work Ethic
Responsibility
Compassion

Integrity
Sacrifice

So, make it a point to tell family stories to the youngest members in your family. Even if they don't seem interested, they are listening. Search out documents or stories that demonstrate positive character traits in their ancestors, and give the kids a copy of it as a reminder. We, as genealogists, know how inspirational our ancestors' lives can be. Please don't wait until children are grown to share those stories. Children will benefit from them now and for the rest of their lives.

I will be thinking more about this subject in the new year, and hope to come up with an activity or two to help you put all of this into practice!


©2015 Emily Kowalski Schroeder

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Creating A Family-Friendly Society

10/14/2015

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Are you a member of a historical or genealogical society that would like to attract more younger people and families to your ranks? Would your society like to become more visible within the community at large? If the answers are 'yes,' this blog post is all about some suggestions to help your society accomplish these goals.

The first step in attracting more families (parents and minor children) to your society is actually WANTING to do so. If not enough people within your group are on-board and willing to contribute their time and talent, then it will never happen. Form a committee within your society and then perhaps even sub-committees for specific tasks or events. Some of the suggestions I list below may take a considerable amount of crowd-sourcing from within your ranks, but I promise you the payoffs can be great!

Sponsoring Family-Friendly Events: Does your society periodically offer free Open Houses for prospective members? If not, consider doing so once or twice a year, and make it child-friendly in the process. If you are a member of a society with no physical location, most public libraries offer rooms that can be reserved for free with just a library card. Or better yet, have some members man a meet-and-greet table at a local Farmer's Market, Community Night Out or County Fair.

Now, HOW would you make an open house or meet-and-greet table child-friendly? What about featuring a 'Technology and Tools of the Past' theme? Probably just from digging around in their basements, your members could bring in old telephones, record players, typewriters, and even old computers for kids to look at, touch (yes, I said touch), and learn about. And, with supervision, kids could examine old household things like washtubs and washboards, old glass medicine and milk bottles, metal milk cans, maybe an old cast iron pressing iron or an old Kirby vacuum cleaner. Or perhaps dig up some old toys from your childhood or your kids' childhoods and have an 'old toy' table for kids to explore. (Remember that 'old' to today's kids is not necessarily that old at all - even stuff from the 70s and 80s is fascinating to young children today.) Find some things that would interest the kids for a few minutes, and at the same time, you can talk with their parents or grandparents about the goals and mission of your group.

Your society may already have members of local battle reenactment groups. What about holding an open house during which a mini-reenactment is featured? Or have some of your members dress up in period attire and tell visitors about what life is like on their local farm in the 1860s? Events like these are wonderful for public relations, especially if you were to bring the character actors to a farmer's market or county fair table, where there are already a lot of families passing through.

If the open houses and table meets go well, consider sponsoring regular family-oriented programs in your community. Research Colonial-American or Pioneer toys and games and invite kids from the community to come play and learn about them. Hold a square-dancing workshop for kids and their parents - maybe even in a local historical barn (how fun would that be!). Hold a Halloween storytelling session and share local ghost stories in front of a bonfire or even just have a trick-or-treating event at a local historical museum. Design the activities around your area's local history and cultural heritage. I suggest always making family programs FREE, which isn't difficult to accomplish if you crowd-source for materials and talent among members AND partner with other local groups. (see below)

Partner With Other Local Groups: Does your genealogical society maintain an open communication with your local historical society and vice versa? Has your society ever thought of reaching out to scouting groups or other local ethnic heritage groups and sponsor community events with them? Holding joint events is a win-win situation for both groups and for the community at-large. Get in on a cemetery clean-up with a local scouting troop. Co-sponsor a German Heritage Day with the German-American club in your area. Reach out to local high school history teachers and offer to send members into the classroom to talk about local history. If your local high school has a Junior ROTC program, contact them and plan a Veterans Day commemoration with them. Make a banner and walk in local parades (even better if you're in period costume!) Get your name and faces out in the community where young people and their parents can see you!


Offer Free Child Care during Member Meetings: Yes, you read that correctly. Lots of churches do this these days, so that parents can attend Bible studies and other meetings. It's not difficult to arrange. All you need are a couple of volunteers to watch the children, some toys to keep them busy, and a room that is separate, but nearby, to the main meeting room where the kids can play. Even my small-town library has adjoining rooms that can be reserved by anyone at no charge.

Today's families are busier than even, but that does not necessarily mean we have no interest in preserving local and family histories. SHOW us that we and our children are integral parts to your mission of preserving and educating the community about local history. Even just simple acts of family-oriented outreach will make a positive impression on parents and children who see you out-and-about in the community, and you will be building a legacy for the continuation of your society in the future.

"Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression." - Dr. Haim Ginott
​
"Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see." - Neil Postman

©2015, Emily Kowalski Schroeder

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Take Your Kids to Cemeteries (Please)

3/26/2014

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I was intending to write a blog post about taking children to cemeteries sometime in the future, but last week, something happened not far from where I live that motivated me to write it today.  Two boys, ages six and ten, vandalized the oldest cemetery in Boone County, Indiana.  The full story can be viewed at this link.  

I don't ever recall hearing about a case in which children as young as these boys vandalized a cemetery.  To me, it's difficult to get angry at the boys alone, especially the six year old.  Clearly, the adults in these kids' lives have failed to instill any sort of respect that, as adults, most of us inherently have for cemeteries.  But I think we can ALL learn from this unfortunate occurrence, and try to do better to keep the kids in our lives from going down this same path.

But how do children learn to be reverent towards cemeteries?  How do they learn about what those headstones represent and who is actually buried under those headstones?  

Death is not as much a part of young children's lives as it used to be.  People are living longer and longer; most children these days don't even experience the death of a grandparent until they are at least teenagers, sometimes even later than that.  That means that they may never step foot in a cemetery as a child, unless their parents, grandparents and other relatives TAKE them there to pay respects to earlier generations.  

In my opinion, we, as a society, need to be more open and upfront with young children about death and dying. How many people will not bring young children to a wake, funeral service, or cemetery burial because they are trying to 'protect' them from sadness and other negative emotions?  Yes, losing a loved one is sad, and you should acknowledge those emotions with your children and grieve with them, but young children really have no inherent fear of death; they learn that fear from adults and popular media.  I don't want my children to fear going to a cemetery; I don't want them to think they are bad or scary places.
Take Your Children to Cemeteries // GrowingLittleLeaves.com
So, please take the kids in your lives to cemeteries.  Teaching them how to be respectful doesn't mean that you have to be somber the whole time.  Make a trip to the cemetery a celebration of a loved one's life.  I have a friend who takes her young boys to 'visit' their great-grandmother every year on her birthday, and they have cupcakes together.  Last Memorial Day weekend, we took our kids to my grandparents' grave. They saw all of the flags by the graves, so we talked about what that meant.  We brought some flowers and my daughter enjoyed putting them by the grave.

©2014, copyright Emily Kowalski Schroeder. All rights reserved.
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    Emily Kowalski Schroeder

    Founder and Author of Growing Little Leaves

    Emily Kowalski Schroeder / Founder and Author of GrowingLittleLeaves.com

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